
Would you be willing to participate in a second (anonymous) survey about your sexual preferences?
Total Votes: 127
I want to begin by saying that this article started as a joke. I mentioned over on Myk's thread that I was conducting research for an article on 'Viner fetishes...and next thing you know I was getting emails, asking if I was really going to do it. So I figured, why not? We are all up in each other's business, anyway, I might as well go ahead and ask a bunch of people terribly personal questions and write up the results. Honestly, I figured I would get maybe a handful of responses. Enough to write something amusing, but probably not really meaningful.
Was I ever wrong.
Forty 'Viners agreed to answer a survey about their sexual inclinations. Unfortunately, as the results came rolling in, I became increasingly annoyed with my own survey. I had never expected to wind up with a useful amount of data, and now that my results exceeded my expectations, I found that I wanted to create something truly meaningful from all the information being so generously given me. This desire only increased when researching the sexual practices of non-'Viners...and finding that apparently few respectable examinations of sexual kink proclivity exist in our time (!!). But here I was, with the survey already sent out to many, and it was simply too late to change the questions. So I have attempted to compensate for the flaws in the original survey by asking questions of respondents who seemed unsure of an answer, prying a little deeper in an effort to at least keep the answers to these questions as accurate as possible. Despite the fact that the original questions left much to be desired, I feel that the results are accurate as far as they go, and really quite fascinating. If there is interest, I would like to take this even further, by conducting a more extensive, serious, and completely anonymous (these guys had to trust me -- thank you all so much) survey in the near future. But more about that later.
I also want to state that it is important to understand the distinctions between "paraphilias", "fetishes", and "kinks". Technically speaking, a "paraphilia" is a debilitating sexual obsession. That is, in order for a sexual preference to qualify as a paraphilia it has to really screw up your life in some way. While the list of various sexual preferences in my survey was taken whole-hog from Wikipedia's list of paraphilias, the phrasing of the questions in my survey did not attempt to uncover technical paraphilias. Instead, I used the list as a selective sampling of possible interests, and respondents answering "yes" to any of them were merely expressing an interest in the activity or item, rather than a pathological obsession. Also, it is important to note that technically, the term "fetish" can only be applied to a sexual activity which is strongly preferred or necessary in order to reach sexual fulfillment, which also is a bit beyond what I asked my respondents. The best term for what is covered here is probably "kink", a slang term implying that the respondent finds, in reality or in fantasy, that a particular act increases their sexual enjoyment.
As a final foreword, I want to state that while all of the participants are and shall remain anonymous, please bear in mind as you discuss this topic that every one of them is probably reading this thread. Many of them admitted to interests well outside what is considered culturally "acceptable", and it takes a lot of courage to do so. Some of the interests admitted to are illegal, many are considered immoral. This does not mean that those who have admitted interest in the more controversial kinks have, or ever intend to, act upon their desires. I encourage an open-minded, considerate discussion on this column, in which everyone can hopefully learn a lot and become a little more comfortable with their own sexuality. I will not, however, permit any insults or baiting on this thread. If you can't discuss a particular kink politely, please leave the discussion of that particular act to those who can.
What follows is the complete questionnaire sent to the participants in this project, along with a summation of the responses. Where appropriate, I have commented on the results, drawing comparisons with the results of other surveys where possible, or noting flaws I feel were present with this one.
1. Are you male or female?
male - 32 (80%)
female - 8 (20%)
Note: One of my participants has brought it to my attention that asking for a strict polarity on gender is unfair to many people. This is, of course, quite true, and stands as another flaw in my original survey.
I really wish there had been a more equal representation of females in the participants, but while female presence on Newsvine is growing, we still have many more men than women on the site. I suspect that despite the disparity in representation, the numbers here actually reflect the approximate percentages in the site, overall.
2. What is your current age?
18-25 - 5 (12.5%)
26-35 - 11 (27.5%)
36-45 - 16 (40%)
46-55 - 5 (12.5%)
56+ - 3 (7.5%)
Again, I could have wished for a more even distribution of ages in the participants, but I believe the sampling to be representative of the site as a whole.
3. How many sexual partners have you had in your life? (approximate, if necessary)
0-5 - 15%
6-20 - 37.5%
21-50 - 32.5%
51-100 - 5%
100+ - 7.5%
Here, we find our first significant difference with other modern surveys. In a Mosher, Chandra, & Jones survey in 2005, men aged 30-44 reported having an average of 6-8 sexual partners in their lifetime. Women aged 30-44 reported an average of 4. Pulling only from respondents to this study who fall into that age range, our average is 27 sexual partners so far. The average for all ages of 'Viners reporting is 42 partners thus far. Clearly, our desire to learn goes well beyond politics and literature.
4. Do you consider yourself straight, gay, bi-sexual, or other? How firmly attached do you feel to that definition of yourself?
Straight (firmly attached) - 57.5%
Straight (at least somewhat flexible) - 22.5%
Bi-sexual - 12.5%
Gay - 5%
In the same Mosher, Chandra, and Jones survey mentioned above, 90% of men and women considered themselves heterosexual, 1.8% of men and 2.8% of women considered themselves bi-sexual, and 2.3% of men and 1.3% of women considered themselves homosexual. Even combining the strongly heterosexual and somewhat flexibly heterosexual in our midst, we are significantly off the average. I did not list a "flexibility" rate for bi-sexual or homosexual respondents, as most respondents who answered that they were bi-sexual indicated a general flexibility about the concept, while those respondents who indicated that they were homosexual were very strongly attached to that definition of themselves.
5. How would you define your overall sexual nature? (yeah, be creative, go ahead)
This was one of my favourite sections of the survey, as it gave people a chance to talk, in their own words, about how they viewed themselves and sexuality in general. The general trends in response to this question were that a large majority of us consider ourselves to be adventurous and at least somewhat experimental in the sack. Many of us mentioned how very important sex is in our lives, something actively sought rather than just a great thing if it's available. Quite a few respondents mentioned that they look for intelligent, interesting partners, rather than physical beauty. Obviously, it would take up far too much space in this column to list all answers to this question, but here is a fairly representative sampling:
Adventurous, fun-seeking, thrill-seeking, for me it's not the destination-it's the ride!
Very uninhibited within reason, of course. But sex isn't the be all and end all of my existence and I've turned down a lot of women in my time for a variety of reasons even hot ones. Never have been particularly fond of the bar pick-up. I like to get to know a woman first.
The boring answer is to say that my nature is dominant. The more accurate answer is to say that I use sex like any other artistic medium. It's fascinating to be creative with sex, with touch, with sensation, with pain, with excitement. Private (or not-so-private) performance art. I love to figure out what makes my partner tick and slowly give it to her, or withhold it; to create a little erotic world where nothing exists but the intensity of the moment.
I have several unfulfilled fantasies. I'm probably too passive or not aggressive enough to really get what I want, but I enjoy sex as often as possible.
Insatiable... not in the I always want to have sex sense, but in the I always want to try something new sense.
6. Please answer "yes" or "no" to the following list of paraphilias, with "yes" indicating that you have enjoyed or think you would enjoy such an experience, and "no" indicating, well, that you wouldn't (and, ok, "I don't know" if you really have no idea, but please try to figure it out):
And this is where most of my irritation with my own methods applies. While many bizarre and interesting practices were listed, many of them really required shades of grey not present. Ideally, I think each fetish listed needs a range of attraction from which the respondent can choose, based on how enjoyable they find it. Also, many of the more common sexual practices such as light bondage or spanking were not listed, leaving the respondents to wonder if they had to try to squeeze into the category of "sadists" or "masochists" to cover a preference not really related to pain at all. Note: percents listed reflect the number of respondents answering "yes" to each item.
Do you have any other fetishes or 'philias not on the list? Please list.
This is list of fetishes offered up over the forty responses. Clearly, though the list sent out was painfully long, it was not nearly enough.
achluophilia - sexual attraction to darkness
acrophilia - sexual stimulation from heights
aviatophilia - sexual arousal from flying
brontophilia - sexual arousal from thunder and lightning (x2)
chorophilia - sexual arousal from dancing
coimetrophilia - sexual arousal from cemeteries
daimonophilia - sexual arousal from demons (x3)
amychophilia - being scratched (x2)
geliophilia - laughter
sesquipedalophilia - long words
wind
driving fast (x4)
music (listening and performing)
sex in places where it is possible to get caught (x3)
outdoor sex
taking surveys about sex
Vanillaphilia - the attraction to others who like it plain and simple (which is not to say boring)
Trains (x2)
Smart people (and watching smart people do smart things -- watching someone code is hot, getting involved in an intellectual debate is hot). men on motorcycles
paul newman smoking
light bondage is fun from time to time (x5)
Web Cams (x2)
Erotic Chat/Email
young, slender women with small breasts
the female bottom (x3)
latex
feathers (using)
eyes
pubic hair
cunnilingus, analingus (performing)
7. Have you ever been sexually attracted to someone you met on the Internet? 75%
While not directly related to fetishes and kinks, I felt that examining our sexual interactions over this medium would be of interest to the Newsvine community.
8. Have you ever engaged in the equivalent of phone sex using chat or email with someone you met on the Internet? If not, do you think you ever would?
Have - 60%
Have not, but would -15%
9. Have you ever engaged in sexual activities on the Internet, using a game platform such as Second Life? If not, do you think you ever would?
Have - 17.5%
Have not, but possibly would - 20%
Most of the respondents who indicated that they "possibly would" indicated that really, they were just waiting for the technology to get better.
10. What is your idea of "safe sex"? This was another open question, designed to allow for a large variety of responses. There were many interpretations, but though most respondents did address the need for proper disease and pregnancy prevention, many went on to include the need for emotional care as well. Several people mentioned that there truly was no such thing as "safe" sex. Again, quoting all respondents would take up far too much space, but here is a representative sampling:
So...safe sex? For god's sake, know your partner. It's all hot to make out with somebody you barely know and all, and that's fine; if you're doing that, keep things high-school and don't exchange bodily fluids. You've got hands; use 'em. Just because you're an adult doesn't mean you have to have sex on the 'first date' or whatever. Get to know your partner -- find out if she gets tested and tell her whether or not you get tested (P.S.: GET TESTED REGULARLY, MORON). If you can't have an honest discussion with your partner about sex, then you probably shouldn't be having it. Bring your own condoms with you like a good Boy Scout....and use them.
No one gets hurt.
Assuring that both (all) partners avoid anything that would cause them physical or emotional harm.
Any sexual activity that does not spread disease or results in pregnancy. From that angle, anything goes as long as those conditions are met.
Making sure she can't run away.
11. How do you think you compare to the "average" person? Kinkier or less kinky? More sexually active or less?
A slight majority (52.5%) of respondents answered that they felt they were kinkier than the average person. A majority (57.5%) also responded that they thought they were more sexually active. Clearly we are not average folks, here, and as there are no reliable surveys to which I can compare this data, the mystery will have to remain a little longer.
It is important to consider, when looking at the results of this survey, respondent bias. That is, those who are willing to respond to a survey of this sort (particularly given that they knew I would be reading their answers with their names connected) are more likely to be fairly open about their sexuality, in general. I think the flaws inherent in the survey have by now been made pretty clear. Nevertheless, there are some provocative indicators which emerge when reading through the data. For one, it was interesting to see that a large number of sexual partners did not necessarily correlate to being particularly kinky. In many cases I found that those with the largest number of partners actually listed the least number of kinks, and vice versa. One possible theory to explain this is that perhaps those with fewer partners have longer relationships with those partners, allowing for a greater level of trust and therefore a broader exploration of sexual fantasies.
Looking through the results, I was surprised by the prevalence of some, and equally surprised by the lack of interest in others. For example, we hear about shoe fetishism all the time, and yet only 7.5% of the forty respondents answered "yes" to that one, as contrasted with the 12.5% who answered positively to arefetism (feet without shoes). The prevalence of amaurophilia and aquaphilia I expected, but I was surprised by the number of respondents who answered "yes" to heterochromophilia, a desire for those of a different skin color. Most respondents live in the United States, and all in "westernized" societies, where we are constantly reminded of racial tensions. And yet a solid half indicated that they were specifically attracted to those of other races. Are we, here at Newsvine, different than most of our culture? Are we attracted to those of other skin colors because of aesthetics, or because of a desire to overcome the tensions in our societies? The questions provide quite a lot of food for thought.
Other kinks on the list I expected to be slightly prevalent, but not to the extent to which they apparently are. Somnophilia and tight-lacing are in this category, as well as apodysophilia and erotic asphyxia. Perhaps much has to do with the age range of the large majority of the respondents: old enough to have had time to experiment, but young enough to have escaped some of the "moral" pressures older generations had to overcome.
In conclusion, while I think the results of this survey are well worth discussing (and I am really looking forward to discussing it with you all), I would like to try a part two if there is enough interest, with more careful questions allowing for more accurate results. Another bonus of a second round would be that I could set it up on a site where all respondents would be completely anonymous, and I would only see the results. Please respond to the poll above, so that I can gauge interest in this second survey.
I want to take a moment and thank everyone who participated in this survey. You trusted me with terribly personal information, and I am honored by that. Please rest assured that all emails have been deleted. If I could, I would send each and every one of you a dozen roses and a box of chocolates (nevermind how terribly unscientific of me that would be). As it is, I hope you enjoy reading the results of your effort!
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